Boredom Cancer

I sat on the end of my bed to get me the perfect view through my window. The sky was bright and blue, with few clouds, just like my pre school drawings. Days go by, week after the other. It’s said that time changes thing, but does it?

Its been a month since I have been having this wired feeling. The feeling that nothing had changed around me. You see the same faces every day same routines same food, same people to talk to. Every day I wake up and see the same old painting that I had on for a year, the same alarm clock (My mom) that I had for eighteen years. The lame wall paper in my room. And everyday I have a feeling that if today were yesterday there won’t be much of change. Everything seems to repeat it self. Everything seems so boring.

I was lost in the idea, starring at the sky when I realized that I used to sit back and think like this almost everyday. But why? Why things seem so dull and life seems so boring. Am I lacking varieties in my life? Or is this a feeling of me been lonely? I don’t believe my self as a loner though I have many friends. But still things seem so incomplete. And I had been having the same feeling for a year now. I have had the same thoughts same questions, every day.

Well I had a conversation about life been boring to a friend of mine. I concluded that, it’s a new disease or so. I call it the boredom cancer and a lot of people seem to have it. Everyone has a cure for it. But it’s as difference as the uniqueness of our personalities. It’s for them to find the missing pieces of their own puzzle.

When it comes to me, I’m so lost. I can’t find the missing pieces. I don’t even know what they are. Yup that’s me lost in the state of being alive. Maybe I’m just thinking too much. It’s just difficult to sit around when I’m having a feeling of incompleteness in me. That’s making me worry about it.

Dreams

Dreams are the experience of envisioned images, sounds, or other sensations during sleep. The events of dreams are often impossible or unlikely to occur in physical reality, and are usually outside the control of the dreamer. But why? Why is it so real? I had two dreams last night. A nightmare and a typical movie scene with my crush. And it’s running around my mind like a colony of ants. Well all of this made me go and do a little reading about it.

Well most researchers believe that dreams occur when you are in the REM (Rapid eye moment) state of sleep. It’s the state of sleep in which brain activity is most like wakefulness and that’s when dreams are strongest. Humans spend 6 years dreaming and that’s 2 hours a night. Wow!! That’s a lot of days. But the thing is that we won’t remember all of it, in fact a tiny little fraction of it you’ll remember. And it varies person to person.

According to my religion dreams happen. And psychodynamic interpretation of dreams has been practiced and there are books about it available in stores. And prophet’s dreams are considered as “Vahee” (Message from Allah). The dreams that you see after Ishaa and before Fathis can be believed. Others are just dreams of Satan it seems.

Well mom’s theory, is that dreams have a meaning. And according to her the longest dream is about 7 seconds long. That’s very short. If we spend 2 hours dreaming every night that’s (120 / 7) 17 dreams a night. And well she has some meanings about seeing dead people or relatives.

The most common emotion experienced in dreams is anxiety. Negative emotions are more common than positive feelings. The difference of ethics seems to play a major part in emotions felt in dreams. (According to some guys researches.) And a majority of people seems to have aggressive natures of dreams.

All in all it’s something that we don’t know much about. But the nightmare fell so real and scary it woke me up in the middle of the night. And I had a strange feeling, a high heart beat rate. I felt spine tickles. Well good thing I wasn’t a scared cat. I just thought about it and read the Dhua in my Islam book, good thing I learned it. And blew three times to my hand and rubbed it against my body. (That’s something to do if we see nightmares)

Well the next dream was great. Well I was out on the street (Sosun Magu) with Aisha (not the real name). It was raining, the streets were quite and peaceful. And the whole place was dark. I took a cigarette lit it up (It was raining though but I was smoking too). I walked her home which is near Maaveyo Magu. I took the Ameenee Magu. And we talked a lot on our way, had some kissing sessions on the way too (It was on the street but no people around). Somewhere at the back of my head I remember eating chips too. (I know, rain and chips! how the hell can they bond). And that’s what I remember of my dream. Well I was awake around 4:30, and then I heard Bangi, got up prayed and got back on the bed (Lazy me).

Still I have no idea what it meant to me and what future predictions it gives. This morning I was completely occupied about it, though I was in a business workshop at school. The things felt so real, I sometimes feel like it really happened. Well hope that I get to make the movie scene a reality.